I skipped work to stalk him.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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