If i could tip my vagina, i would.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The Olympian is in my bed
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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