The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
