it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
smell my finger.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
