Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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