Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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