did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
