you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
