i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
