But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
