I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
