Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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