so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
