Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
