Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
