made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
