oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
