I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
