went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
