I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
