what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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