if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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