we have pet lesbian snakes
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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