Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
