there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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