Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
