i think my mom watched the whole time
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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