Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
