All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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