nut hugger
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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