Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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