he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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