took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
