toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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