so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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