she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
