He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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