Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
