I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
