the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
