So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
