Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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