I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
this will be a night to untag.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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