I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
