The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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