the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
