I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
