I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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