so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
