All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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